One learns all sorts of things from parents. My mom taught me to sew (well along with my grandmother who taught her so…), to cook (or at least she tried!), and to love books and the English language. Other things learnt were life lessons that kind of seeped in over the years. Sometimes it would be through a reaction to a situation (like the one with the lorry driver), other times it would start off with my bringing up something. I remember, on my second day of undergrad, I came home quite upset. I felt I had been shunned by the majority of my class and I knew not why. After a bit of weeping on my mother’s shoulder, I asked her why I was being treated like a leper? I didn’t think I had done anything to deserve it. After insisting I wash my face, she asked me about my classmates and within a few sentences, she deduced that most of my classmates came from a different socio-economic background from me. The college was a well-known and highly regarded women’s college in Chennai run by a Christian order.
My mother told me, think about it. This is a class of 20 young women, most of whom are probably scholarship students, so from a socio-economic group that is different from yours. Perhaps some of them are not from a big city. And then there is you, wearing jeans, with short hair, talking comfortably in English. Don’t you think you must seem alien to them? Perhaps they are not used to talking to someone like you. Maybe they feel intimidated.
I was shocked. I didn’t think I was intimidating! I had just gone up and said hello and introduced myself (causing everyone to give me a weak grin and stop talking till I left). But then, as my mother said, perhaps all they saw was a city girl from a different background, not the type to usually come and hang out with them and so they were just being wary. I couldn’t believe it but I said, “Okay. Maybe you’re right but now what? I don’t want to go through 3 years of college not talking to my classmates!”
My mother, of course, had sensible advice. She said, “Don’t worry about it. Just continue to be your normal, friendly self and don’t let it get to you if they don’t respond. Give them time. They will come around in time.” And they did. Within a week, I was on friendly terms with everyone!
the chronicles of s 